coachingquestions

“They make me feel like I can’t do anything right.”

When faced with these types of comments, have you ever wondered what to say or how to respond in a helpful manner?

Perhaps it's a case of making a mountain out of the proverbial molehill or a judgment based on half the facts.

Whether the situation is exaggerated or not, the other person has placed resolution of the issue beyond their control.

So what can you say? How do you question ‘impossibility’ stories and help people who believe they really are at the mercy of outside events?

Two ‘Magic’ Questions
“How do you know?” And “How do you do that?”

Here are some examples of when to apply these questions, with apologies to ‘they’ whoever they are!

They say:
“This report is useless.”

You ask:
“How do you know? I’m curious, how do you know the report is useless?”

They say:
“I get so frustrated when that happens.”

You ask:
“How do you do that? You know, how do you decide to make yourself frustrated? What else could you do instead?”

In the second sentence, how do you decide implies choice.

They say:
“He/she will never agree to help.”

You ask:
“How do you know? Has he/she ever helped with anything before?”
In the second sentence ever asks them to search for a counter example. Because if they can find even one example, that means ....

We call these two questions ‘magic’ because they're easy to remember and work in almost any situation! Whenever someone thinks they are stuck—and you're at a loss for what to say.

At the very least, these questions will cause people to Stop and think. Perhaps to reevaluate the ‘evidence’ they're using to support their beliefs or impossibility stories.

You’ll probably be able to see the pause reflected on their face as they mentally ‘shift gears.’

When you experiment with the questions keep your tonality light and playful.

You may even want to add ‘I’m curious’ at the beginning or end of the sentence—because ‘I’m curious’ is a great way to soften a question.

And be curious yourself, have fun!

We’re not going to suggest the results may surprise and delight you because we’d rather you discover that for yourself.

See 20 coaching questions for managers at: http://innergize.wordpress.com

Interested in taking an NLP training or business workshop?
For more on NLP visit: NLP Training And Coaching