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Word Power

Taming Your 'Not's  

Just Because  

Resistance To Change
















































Word Power - Influencing with language

Taming Your Not (s)   

Perhaps you've already discovered that you can't not think about something without thinking about it first?

How many times have you made a special point of asking someone to ‘not’ do something?

Like reminding your spouse ...
“Don't forget to pick up the dry cleaning.”

Or cautioning a small child ...
“Don't spill the milk.”

Or telling a teenager ...
“Don't forget to put out the garbage.”

Or advising a client ...
“Don't worry about the delivery on this product.”

And what usually happens?

You can't not think about something without thinking about it first.

Since you can't, (not think about something without thinking about it first) when you tell someone to do the process of ‘not’ doing something, your listener first has to think about ‛doing’ the behaviour, to be able to think of ‘not’ doing it (to add the ‘not’.)

So it's easy for your listener's unconscious mind to miss this step (delete the not) and respond by acting on the initial thought, doing what you asked them not to do.

For Example
When you say ...
“Don't forget to pick up the dry cleaning.
Their unconscious hears ...
“Forget to pick up the dry cleaning.”
And they usually do!

The child who is told ...
“Don't spill the milk.”
Hears ...
“Spill the milk”
And complies, usually as soon as the word ‛spill’ is out of your mouth!

And Your Clients ....
Whatever it is you tell your clients ‘not’ to worry about? How often does that become the very thing they worry about most?

One Solution ....
One solution to all of this is to make a habit of telling people what you want them to do, instead of what you don't want.

“Remember to pick up the dry cleaning.”

“Carry the milk carefully.”

“Remember to put out the garbage.”

“You can feel confident that our deliveries are always on time.” 

Becoming a Power User
You may also choose to become a ‘power user’ of the negative forms of verbs.

Begin to use not, never, can't, won't and don't to assist others by helping them create positive mental images that will assist them to achieve  their outcomes.

Instead of saying ...
“I know it is a difficult task.”
Use “I know it's not an easy task.”

“This is going to hurt a little”
Becomes “This isn't going to be totally comfortable.”

“It is going to take longer than we thought”
Translates to “It's not going to be a quick as we hoped.”

The statements are technically true and they invite the listener to create a positive internal image instead of dwelling on the less attractive aspects of a situation. Some people are inclined to ‘awful-ize’ - make things sound worse than they are - and this is a great antidote. You may be amazed at how well it works. 

Please check out the next Word Power page (on the menu to the left)  because there is something more I'd like to share with you. Research on the word ‘because’ and the amazing power it has to increase acceptance for your message.


Interested in taking an NLP training or business workshop?
For more on NLP visit: NLP Training And Coaching